It’s not that they’re manically obsessed with marching. That doesn’t matter.

It’s not that they refer to themselves as the “Power and Class of New England.” That doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that our Marching Band embarrassed this school on Inauguration Day. They marched for President Bush, our president who didn’t technically “win” the election, or at least “win” enough for any of us to truly believe that he’s our president. They saw the “honor” of marching for Bush and grabbed at it, ignoring the endorsement they gave the Texan as a result.

“The Power and Class of New England” marches for what claims to be one of the most liberal campuses in the entire United States and yet chose to march for a blazingly conservative President who won an election in which blacks were prevented from voting by all accounts, where ballots were confusing enough to necessitate that thousands were thrown out and, oh yeah, where the “winner” lost by more than half-a-million votes nationwide in what ended up being the third closest election of the last 40 years.

Instead of acknowledging any of that, instead of turning down the invitation to march in what would surely been a classy protest, the marching band instead chose to represent liberals as best they could: by totally selling out to Republicans.

Perhaps some don’t see the march as an endorsement of Bush, but hey, they went, didn’t they? They marched in front of him, didn’t they? They didn’t stop playing as they marched by, right? They didn’t do anything to specifically not endorse our new President.

Oh sure, we all know that this campus was rabidly Nader because there seems to be a group of people on this campus that truly believes that giving every citizen a cute puppy is a solution to this nation’s continued problems, but what did the marching band end up telling everyone out there? That the “Power and Class of New England” supports a man against affirmative action, against women’s rights, against environmental rights, against rights period, and who is supportive enough of the death penalty to put it on Pay-Per-View if he could. Where was the UMass brain trust on this?

Where was student leadership…ah, a foolish question now that I think about it. But still, where was anybody with any sense at all? George Bush would happily cut funding to Universities other than Bob Jones in South Carolina given half a chance, and especially to universities like UMass, yet we puckered up with both lips out like a twelve-year-old’s first kiss, ready to plant a big wet smooch on Bush’s butt.

How embarrassing.

If Massachusetts wanted to send a marching band that accurately reflects the viewpoints of a conservative like Bush or our real president Dick Cheney, send the three piece, gold-plated Amherst College Marching Group. They’re rich. They’re conservative. They’re probably jerks, although I’m sure that stereotype is radically unfair. Then again, it’ll be those kids getting the benefits of Bush’s inane tax cut, not any of the probably middle-class kids who march in our band, who wear the maroon and white of UMass.

Which is what is so frustrating. Near as anyone can tell, nobody in the band leadership voiced any objection to marching in a parade that was basically one small stroke in the giant national stroking of our new President. Nobody seemed to acknowledge the implication of the march. What was band director George Parks thinking?

What is it about liberals in this country – why have Republicans gotten ahead? Because they have the obnoxiousness to ante up when it’s time to ante up. Democrats and most of the people who only voted for Nader because they fell for the conventional logic that Bush = Gore, despite obvious differences between the two, never stand up for themselves. Where were all those stupid Seattle protestors who can’t, specifically, describe why the IMF is bad (it is bad, there’s no denying, but can they explain it…) when blacks weren’t allowed to vote? Where were all of those dirty hippies when votes were being thrown out? Why were there more Republicans down in Florida protesting for Bush than liberals protesting for Gore?

They were sitting around the bong, listening to the Grateful Dead talking about how much that puppy would have helped Americans, or readying themselves to march in Washington, willing to accept the status quo before being willing to oppose it.

It’s sad that liberals are so weak and so pathetic, and it’s sad that the UMass band buckled so briskly when asked to march before the big bad Bush. Someday, hopefully, liberals will get the backbone that they used to have, that Republicans now have, and that liberals are going to need if they’re going to get power back from the right side of the spectrum.