It’s that time of year again. Time for a new television season from the broadcast networks. Time for a bunch of crappy new shows that will be canceled after six episodes. And most of all, time for more of the same old same old; sitcoms written by “the people that brought you Friends,” and reality shows.
Well, here it is, a rundown of some the new programs headed to a TV set near you this season. While it’s true that I haven’t seen any of these shows yet, I trust my intuition enough to let you the reader know what will be good, what will be bad, what will succeed and what will fail.
The Good (sort of)
Undeclared – (Fox: Tuesdays 8:30 p.m.) From the people that brought us the entertaining but lowly rated NBC series “Freaks and Geeks” comes this new show that is described as “Freaks and Geeks” go to college. At least the series is realistic: college life filled with booze, sex, and parties.
Outlook: Could be entertaining, and at least NBC didn’t give it the Saturday night “death” time slot that “Freaks and Geeks” got.
The Bernie Mac Show – (Fox: Wednesdays 9:30 p.m.) The King of Comedy Bernie Mac plays himself as an accidental father inheriting three children from his drug addicted sister.
Outlook: Mac’s standup routine is usually hilarious, with solid writing it should translate onto the small screen well.
24 – (Fox: Tuesdays 9 p.m.): Kiefer Sunderland stars as a bodyguard for a US Senator in this new drama which takes the unique form of telling its story in 24 episodes, with each episode representing one of 24 hours in one day. The show supposedly takes place in real time, so when the audience is at commercial, action supposedly still takes place (translation: Sunderland takes a leek during commercials).
Outlook: Show gets points right off the bat for its creativity. As long as it isn’t TV movie-like cheesy, it could be the season’s best new show.
The OK
The Agency – (CBS: Thursdays 10 p.m.) As a CIA-themed drama, it’s not particularly creative, but early reviews have been positive.
Outlook: These types of dramas a rarely bad, but often mediocre. Could go either way.
Law and Order Criminal Intent – (NBC: Sundays 9 p.m.) A “Law and Order” spin off starring Vincent D’onofrio, who chases after those damn bad guys.
Outlook: If it’s anything like “Law And Order,” it certainly should be.
Scrubs – (NBC: Monday 8:30 p.m.) ER only funnier, supposedly.
Outlook: Another hospital show…yawn.
The Ellen Show – (CBS: Friday 8 p.m.) A forty something professor (Ellen Degeneres) moves home to a small town.
Outlook: Ellen can be funny if that’s your flavor. The Friday night slot might be the kiss of death for it. Then again, it’s not as if Ellen fans are big Friday night party animals anyway.
Maybe It’s Me – (WB: Friday 8:30 p.m.) A teenager comes to realize just how lame her family is in this comedy. Most notably, the series will use a “Pop Up Video” style of constant commentary.
Outlook: The pop up format could be entertaining, but it could also be annoying. I’ll bet the latter.
Smallsville – (WB: Tuesday 9 p.m.) Hot teens and the WB: a winning formula. Actually this show chronicles the teenage years of Clark Kent. That’s right, Superman.
Outlook: Another intriguing concept. Could it be that the networks are actually getting more creative?
Off Center – (WB, Sundays, 9:30 p.m.) The writers of American Pie bring us a comedy that includes a white rapper named Status Quo. Supposedly, this will basically be “The Man Show” in sitcom format.
Outlook: It will be full of sleazy and crude humor, but on broadcast television that isn’t saying much.
The Bad and The Ugly
Inside Schwartz – (NBC: Thursdays: 8:30 p.m.) An aspiring sportscaster (Breckin Meyer of Road Trip fame) has a referee follow him around constantly and make calls. For instance, when he’s a on a date ready to get some first base action, the ref calls Meyer for “illegal use of tongue.” Outlook: I have to go off on this one. First of all, how many shows has NBC put in Thursday night 8:30 time slot that have failed over the years? Of all the ways NBC could enlighten the world in the coveted time slot between “Friends” and “Frasier,” with a huge lead-in audience, they give us this crap. A ref following a guy around 24/7? Who’s idea was that? And why do they have a job in television? More importantly, why do NBC executives making millions of dollars a year think that this show is a good idea, when a measly television writer for a college newspaper can clearly see that it is a pitiful. Just run a damn test pattern at 8:30 NBC, you’ll probably get the same audience, and spare the world from another dud of a show.
Emeril – (NBC: Mondays: 8 p.m.) The Iron Chef himself stars himself in this “comedy” which has gotten sour reviews from critics.
Outlook: Give me a break.
Bob Patterson: (ABC: Tuesday: 9 p.m.) Jason Alexander stars in this comedy, which has already been retooled after an awful pilot episode (bad sign).
Outlook: no show has ever been a success after a disastrous pilot episode in television history, and it won’t start now.
