AMHERST, MASS- The film Sorority Babes in Slimeball Bow-a-rama was screened for the purposes of review on Saturday evening in the Brandywine Estates in Amherst, Massachusetts. Over a dozen self-proclaimed “horror movie buffs” gathered anxiously around the television. With several thirty packs of beer nearby, it was bound to be a long evening.

As the film began, the viewers decided it would be a good idea to engage in a drinking game called the “power hour” while they viewed the movie. As the night wore on, it became clear that, good idea, this was not.

Watching horror movies with horror movie fans can be a horrific experience. One must put up with endless references to past horror movies, and listen to inane logic about how certain horror movies are better than others.

Within the first few minutes of the movie one of the viewers made a reference to Halloween by saying “way to rip-off the Halloween set.” A few minutes later another scene reminded the same viewer of Slumber Party Massacre 3 (not 1 or 2 but 3). The references continued for the majority of the film.

After about 10 minutes it was easy to see that cinematic genius Sorority Babes in Slimeball Bowl-a-rama was not. Therefore, as most horror movie fans do when they realize a horror film is not up to the high standards of The Dentist or Nightmare on Elm Street, they begin to mock it. The skeptical audience was heard snickering comments such as “fine movie,” and “yea, real good plot.”

When the inevitable attractive young woman appeared on the screen, they were met with loud whooping and cheering by the predominately male audience. “Hot pregnant chicks,” “I dream of this,” and “massive amounts of tits,” were overheard.

Since Sorority Babes in Slimeball Bowl-a-rama was obviously a horrible horror movie, when it became obvious that the film was not going to entertain, beer was turned to as the new form of entertainment. As the audience lost interest in the film, phrases such as “take another goddam shot,” “I’ve never been this drunk before,” and “I can’t feel my feet,” were uttered.

With the poor combination of a poor horror movie and massive quantities of beer, the audience grew violent. After a female attendee was accused of being a “whore,” she responded by saying, “I’m not a whore.” The accuser clarified the situation by saying “yes, you are.”