Lately, I’ve been swamped with midterms, but in general I like to procrastinate. I will watch television, vacuum my dorm for the fifteenth time and constantly fill my Brita water pitcher. After a while I run out of things to do and trick my friends into procrastinating with me. Besides random trips to CVS, and other distractions we somehow end up in these really weird rambling conversations. These conversations stem from questions that sometimes don’t really have an answer or something completely ridiculous. I’ve compiled a few random questions about life for you to chew on this weekend. It’s better to work in groups at a crazy hour like three in the morning because by then your sense of reality is flawed and the answers are even better. I’ve included a few of my answers as examples.

1.) When you throw a pair of socks into the laundry and only get back one, what happened to the other sock?

Eaten by either the washing machine or dryer. After a hearty meal of a $1.25 in quarters it needs some fiber to complement it, and what better than your socks. If you use your UCard, chances are the machines will be even hungrier and you will lose more socks.

2.) If you could have three mutant, superhero powers what would they be?

Fly. I want to be able to fly. Shape shifting wouldn’t be bad either, and then energy orbs. I want to be able to shoot energy balls from my hands like fireballs. Or maybe fireballs are better…

3.) Why is the heating system in Northeast so loud?

Gnomes. They’re gnomes with small pick axes who are on crack. They know nothing else but to smoke crack and bang on the pipes that power small generators to produce heating for Northeast. Props to Kristen for coming up with that one.

4.) Here’s a scenario: You witness a sock flopping out of someone’s laundry basket either in the elevator or in the stairway. You don’t know the person but they obviously live in your building. Do you chase after them to give them back the sock or do you leave it?

Wow. This is a deep one. It would be too easy for you to side with me so I’m not giving you my answer.

5.) What do you think is the strongest factor that causes drowsiness in Hasbrouck 134?

Ahh…Hasbrouck 134, also known as the Nap Lecture hall for almost all students. It’s not the classes we have in there, it’s the room itself which emanates drowsiness. I think it’s the lights. There’s something about the lights that makes me sleepy.

6.) What is LAGNAF?

Actually, maybe I don’t want to know the real meaning. Someone actually gave me a very odd answer that sounds like it could be accurate. And if it is, my goodness, that should not be on a student organization bulletin board.

7.) Here’s another scenario: You see an empty parking space, another car is coming in the other direction when suddenly a squirrel appears in the space. Do you hit the squirrel to get the space or do you put on your turning signal, slow down and hope the squirrel leaves, with the risk of losing the space to other car?

It depends on how much you want the actual space and the parking lot you are in. I was faced with this situation in early September, before I had a purple lot sticker. It was a Friday and I wanted to move my car closer to the dorm and saw a perfect space, when a squirrel and another car entered the scene. My answer to this will come in a later column.

8.) When was the last time you felt like the cartoon character Charlie Brown?

It’s only human to have a bad day like Charlie Brown and we all have one. The most recent incident that sticks out in my mind happened two weeks ago. After getting into a fight with one of my friends, I went outside to shoot some baskets to burn off some steam. I kept missing which got me even more upset. I finally got one and the basketball got stuck. Apparently the net had been changed and the ball was smaller than the net. Since I just break 5 feet, jumping up to get it was not an option. I couldn’t find anything to throw at it, which made me more angry. No one was around, so I took off my sneaker and threw it at the net, getting the basketball down. I hopped across the court to get my shoe back and the basketball. I suppose things could have been worse. My sneaker could have gotten stuck in the net with the ball.

And the eternal question…

9.) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

The world may never know.