“To love one’s self is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Oscar Wilde said that some time before he was imprisoned for his sexual preference. Perhaps Oscar’s life would have been less tumultuous had he spent more time getting to know himself and less time chasing after men half his age. One might argue that everybody chasing after something as esoteric as “true love” is wasting their time and that Valentine’s Day is a crock. Not so.
Valentine’s Day is a great idea. We have an annual excuse to tell the objects of our most secret desires how much they really mean to us while risking humiliation and rejection of the cruelest variety. The pain and resentment we may endure is perhaps what’s most wonderful about Valentine’s Day. After all, where would poetry, music, and the arts be without mental anguish?
The arts would be excruciatingly dull and most likely redundant without tales of unrequited love and social rejection. Music would be hardly recognizable. I couldn’t imagine listening to the Beatles, Bob Dylan or any of the great albums of our time if the songs were about romance, happiness and other such nonsense. Poetry would also be a nightmare.
Look at French poet, alcoholic and lunatic Charles Baudelaire. He created beautiful, passionate poetry as he succumbed to absinthe, a notoriously hallucinogenic drink made with wormwood and alcohol. Baudelaire’s obsession over a young woman inspired most of his work including “The Flowers of Evil,” his most revered book of poetry. Poor Charlie. Not that I blame the object of his unrequited love – mentally ill starving artists seldom make People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” lists.
Love plays a very important role in our society. Besides inspiring lovesick poets to create literary masterpieces, love inspires lovesick people to give their objects of affection free stuff. Thanks to Valentine’s Day, millions of people will enjoy free food and fresh flowers this Thursday. According to the Society of American Florists, around 103 million roses were sold during Valentine’s Day last year. Roughly a quarter of the money made in the floral industry was made on Valentine’s Day. Without Valentine’s Day, flower vendors would probably go out of business.
Don’t feel alone if you’re not getting flowers this year, though. There are 13.3 million single people between the ages of 24 and 34 in the United States, according to the Census Bureau. That represents 35 percent of that age group. Single means “unmarried,” of course and the census report I got my hands on doesn’t account for college-age folks 18-23, but I’m sure the number of students who are unattached is significant. I’m sure the whole campus doesn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend although it might seem that way. Heck, my roommate’s boyfriend sent her three-dozen roses, so I have a constant floral reminder of my very much single status.
I couldn’t find any statistics about restaurant revenue on V-Day, but I’m sure the local eateries make a decent profit off of blissfully attached couples. I assume most of you “together” folks will be heading out to eat Thursday night.
As for me, I’ll be studying in my room while munching on a banana from the Grab and Go this Valentine’s Day. That doesn’t mean I’ll be lonely. Like Oscar said, the relationships we have with ourselves are just as important, if not more important than our relationships with significant others. If you’re alone this V-Day, don’t drink yourself into a stupor like poor Charlie Baudelaire or chop your ear off like a certain lovesick Vincent Van Gogh. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, treat yourself to a nice dinner and get to know the person you’re stuck with for the rest of your life. And who knows? As you become more confident in yourself, Mr. or Ms. Right just might show up.
Rachel Smith is a UMass student.
