They say there are no rules to dating. The ladies of “Running with Scissors” disagree. So we are here to provide you with a guide to surviving a first date and hopefully subsequent ones after that.
Remember your manners
The biggest key to dating, at least the very beginning of a dating relationship, is having good manners. Guys, open the doors for your date, pull out chairs and show some basic chivalry. Ladies, offer to pay your own way (even if you don’t want to) and try to dress appropriately for the occasion. The ladies of “Running with scissors” find that elegant and classy is better than overly dressed up. Simply put, leave your heels and beaded purses at home in exchange for a comfortable pair of khakis or a nice skirt if the weather permits. On the flip side, however, don’t be so casual that you need to wear running pants or a pair of ripped jeans; unless the date involves a jog around the neighborhood, it will never turn out well.
If you are going out to dinner, manners are extremely important. Try to remember all of the things your mother taught you when you were a kid. Keep your elbows off the table, put your napkin in your lap and try not to chew like a cow. Nothing drives someone away quicker than looking at undigested food in your mouth.
Hold a conversation
Another important and scary part of dating is trying to hold a conversation. This is why many people (the ladies of “Running with Scissors” included) dread having to hold a conversation with a complete stranger in a social setting. This is why it is important that either you know or are friends with the person you are dating or that you are willing to do your part to be sure that the conversation flows smoothly. For example, if your date asks you what kind of music you like, don’t answer, “Oh everything.” At least give the other person something to build on.
Ditch the friends
We know it is hard to quench the urge to introduce your date to all of your closest friends on your first outing. But try to refrain. We know your friends likely want to meet him or her, or you are so excited at the prospect of having this person out with you that you want the person to meet everyone you know. Trust us, though. It is a big mistake. Not only will the other person feel like a show pony who is there for the amusement of you and your closest friends and family, but it will also be impossible to get to know each other one on one. The bottom line is, dating is nerve racking as it is without adding the additional bonus of dragging extra people along.
The “Ex” factor
The biggest faux paus that any individual can exhibit on a date is any discussion of ex-boyfriends or girlfriends. Nothing ruins a mood faster than bring up “Suzie, my ex-girlfriend with the nice rack who slept with every guy in my fraternity.” It expresses bitterness and would give the idea to your date that you might not in fact be over Suzie the tramp. Ladies, this goes same with you. If your date orders duck off the menu and that coincidentally happens to be your ex-boyfriends favorite dish, refrain from saying so. Once there is any mention of ex’s, the likeliness of a second date plummets faster than the pants off a drunken frat boy.
No elaborate gifts
Girls love presents. That’s a given. However, if a man shows up on a first date with an elaborate bouquet of flowers or a dozen roses, that sets off a bizarre alarm in a girl’s mind. A man who is purchasing expensive gifts on the first date screams, “I’m a desperate loser,” and “I’m clingier than flies on manure.” One flower is sweet, but definitely consult friends first. The last thing most girls want is an overly clingly man, as men don’t want clingy women. Save the fancy stuff for birthdays and Valentine’s Day.
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There are plenty of common sense rules that we reiterate time and again that apply to first dates, such as hygiene. However, we felt that our quest to make this campus a better smelling and more attractive place has been successful thus far, so continue to refer back to past columns for plenty of worthwhile advice. As usual, call us shallow, but we’re also right.
