California – one of the greatest financial powerhouses in America, is considered the fifth largest independent economy in the world. Its own Gross Domestic Profit could finance the nation’s military spending nearly three times over. But if California’s economy were as rich as its politics, they’d be on par with Paraguay.

The recall campaign to oust Gray Davis is now in full swing and early October could possibly see a new governor in Sacramento. As if a recall election wasn’t bad enough on its own, the candidates who have taken the gubernatorial bull by the horns seem mediocre at best for the governorship. A porn tycoon, a washed-up child actor and even a porn star in the race still bring no justice to those who are, for the moment, still running the show in California.

The problem goes way beyond one man. While Gray Davis plays a significant part in the state’s budget woes, the bigger picture implicates illegal immigrants, Enron, Republicans, Democrats, and yes, even the Bush Administration.

The wallets of California’s working class had been hit harder than a Yankees fan at Fenway Park as illegal immigrants, or “documentally challenged citizens”, evaded between $3 to $7 billion dollars in taxes last year. Tabs that were run up from emergency health care, MediCal, and welfare were also picked up by taxpayers. In fact, over 30 percent of California’s welfare and MediCal payments were going to illegal immigrants in 2002.

Welfare fraud and tax evasion aren’t the only things scamming California. Politicians and energy hustlers from Enron were also having their way with the Golden State. Before managing to siphon some $66 billion dollars out of California over a sham energy crisis, the now-dead energy giant managed to buy out Democrats and Republicans in the State Assembly, spending over $420,000 for lobbies on deregulating the energy market.

Gray Davis himself ended up playing ball for Enron for a cool $97,000 in contributions. As a result, the cost of a megawatt-hour in some parts of California had gone from $30 to $1500.

What did the Bush administration do for California during its energy crisis? Nothing. Literally. When Senator Diane Feinstein tried to get in touch with the White House, she was refused an appointment with the president and vice president. They even spelled her name wrong on the written response. Doesn’t it seem rather strange that Enron CEO Ken Lay was able to make an appointment but a Democrat senator wasn’t? (Well, “Kenny Boy” is easier to spell.)

Afterward, it was found that Dick Cheney had sent an email to the Department of Energy recommending that they need not mention the energy crisis in their annual report. And now, Bush claims to take a “hands-off” approach toward California’s recall. How convenient.

Not all of California’s problems, however, can be pinned on the conservatives or illegal immigrants. Democrats are running in the red as well from this. In late July, Democrats from the State Assembly were caught on tape, discussing ways to prolong California’s fiscal crisis in order to emphasize it better as a Republican problem, as well as to change the Assembly’s protocol on voting on taxes.

They were busted when a microphone had been left on and had broadcasted their chat to over 500 “squawk boxes,” that allow reporters, staffers and others to listen in. They even had the nerve to downplay what they had been talking about, even though Assemblywoman Jackie Goldberg had been heard yelling curse words after discovering the conversation had been heard.

Now, with a cast of seemingly clueless candidates in line for their share at “Californian Idol,” (135 to be exact) the rest of the world gets to watch American politics reduce itself from honorable institution to a sideshow.

We have a 22 year-old porn star who plans on putting web cams throughout the governor’s mansion, as well as taking guns off the streets by distributing porn in exchange for them. Did I mention that lap dances might soon be tax deductible? (No, this is not a joke.)

Larry Flynt – yes, that Larry Flynt – will be putting in a slightly calmer approach with plans to grant amnesty to all illegal immigrants residing in California. Seriously, this could drop the state census bureau’s margin of error by up to 10 percent! The self-proclaimed “smut peddler who cares” also plans on supporting our troops by sending them copies of Hustler, according to an interview on CNN.

No campaign can be complete without the “please-give-me-a-reality-show” presence of the washed-up TV star and security guard Gary Coleman.

In the end, it looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger could get the coveted office of the governor of California. However, he has broken a few norms that could leave voters skeptical. Sources say that he has recently added Rob Lowe to his roster of aides and advisors. Anyone see a theme evolving here?

He has declined to debate, and at times won’t even touch the issues that affect California. He claims to be a conservative, yet has surprisingly liberal views, including his fiscal ones.

Schwarzenegger seems to be the most serious out of the candidates in California, but his competence as governor might only measure up to his ability in acting. Let’s hope not.

Mark Ostroff is a Collegian columnist.