The past week, a lot of columnists wrote their pieces on rioting at UMass, and who can blame them? It’s a problem that keeps asserting itself at UMass, year after year and game after game. It’s a chance for dorm-dwelling muscleheads, hyped up on cheap beer, cheap tobacco, and testosterone, to show off their masculinity and so-called “loyalty” – as one student put it, to “have something to tell my kids.” Now, if that doesn’t represent white-trash culture, I don’t know what does.
Not all baseball fans are like this. I like baseball; my friends like baseball, and I want to see the “curse” broken like every other loyal Sox fan. But when the game is over, win or lose, there is studying to do, there are calls to make, and due to mass stupidity, there is property to protect.
The fact is that rioters at UMass are the lowest people you will ever meet in the world of Academia. These cowards, who commit their acts under the assurance of human rights and within the confines of a drunken mob, use machismo and a loser baseball team as their only guiding lights.
Because we have such a high standard for the rights of criminals in this country, rioters at UMass know that, in a flash, they can turn from Southwest-slimeballs into wannabe-Kent State victims, as fast as cops can turn from civil protectors into victimizing fascists. If they were in another country like, say, North Korea, these idiots wouldn’t have the guts to clap out loud at their favorite baseball players, let alone destroy private, state and federal property.
You also don’t see this brand of dirt acting individually. They need to make sure there are at least a hundred of them around, so those trying to keep order can’t get to them. Real macho, huh? Ever wonder why they resort to throwing bottles and rocks and never actually approach the police? Because they are, in fact, afraid to spend the night in the clink. This is where the line is drawn – when they have to go it alone.
Some say that taking on the cops is actually just a way to challenge authority. Well if that’s the case, then 10-year-old Palestinians kids have still shown far more courage than the oh-so-manly men of UMass riots. And hey, at least they have something to fight for, which brings me to my next point.
If people want to riot, can they at least find something worth rioting over? Is there not enough of a charged political atmosphere for you in this country? If tanks with red stars came rolling into Washington, these idiots still wouldn’t move unless beer, toilet paper, and a stick and ball were involved.
I’m sure that most of you know the mission behind this university, but let me discuss this again for those that seem to just not get it. This university, its administrators, and its faculty believe that everybody deserves the chance for a quality education, and a higher standard of living, regardless of what neighborhood you come from. They spend their careers challenging those who believe that most of you have no right to be here. Many people believe that your rightful place in society is not in Academia, but Proliteria. And rioting at UMass proves it.
These idiot rioters not only undermined the mission of UMass, they flipped it over and set it on fire. In the eyes of many, UMass and Walpole Prison are one and the same. And in the end, it’s your faculty, your University, and even your baseball team that come out looking foolish, while you, the nameless cowards of this university, retreat to your dorms and wait for your next chance to ruin this school in a haze of Budweiser and empty pomp.
Well, here is a chance for all of you UMass dregs to do something right for a change:
If you have any ounce of courage or dignity, you will go over to Whitmore and sign your walking papers. Make room for the real students who don’t take this opportunity for granted. I guarantee they will be an asset to this school, not a liability. I know that I’m not being realistic, because cowards don’t take responsibility for their own actions. All they do is run away.
Mark Ostroff is a Collegian columnist.
