After creating a stench in the primaries and pulling a Dukakis by substituting a dinosaur growl for a working knowledge of the relationship between self-image and the media, Howard Dean last week finally dropped out of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination.

(Sidebar: In 1988, Dukakis was running against Bush senior for president and broke himself by posing for pictures in a tank with a huge helmet on his head that made him look like Rick Moranis in “Spaceballs.”)

With Dean’s experience in Vermont, the state that brought the nation both Phish Food ice cream and a case study on civil unions, coupled with his tagline of M.D., a synonym for smart, he was well on his way to pleasing left-of-center America through the next presidential cycle, or at the very least, until this November. Unfortunately, the candidate peaked prematurely, and although his followers swore it was no big deal, it really was. To everyone who rocked “Dean for America” hyperlinks in your profiles during the last few months, I say to you, “Take that, your beliefs!”

I am not bashing the Dean camp, per se, but there is an adage that says people are liberal in college but become more conservative when they grow up and raise a family. If Weird Al were commissioned to generate school spirit at the University of Massachusetts through song, he would be on the phone with Olivia Newton John asking for permission to change “Let’s Get Physical” to “Let’s Get Liberal.” Many young people come to this school without refined political beliefs, and it is safe to say that most become more liberal as the semesters and the discussion sections go on. I am a liberal lady, and I think that it’s time for Bush to go, but at the same time, I consider liberal to be a dirtier word than republican.

At UMass, it seems that people are compelled to take the liberal side of every issue, or in the case of the nomination race, stand behind Dean simply because his campaign manager told him that college students enjoy

Internet blogs and bumper stickers. To me, when a person equates republican with evil, he is ignoring the tool of examining an issue from multiple sides. When I went to the registry last summer to get my horizontal license, I registered to vote. Although I usually fall in line with democratic views, I checked the Independent box. I want my opinions to be formed by obsessive CNN.com checking, not the official stances of one party or the majority of kids in my classes.

Many former Dean supporters and non-republicans in general have pledged to vote for the candidate that is most likely to beat Bush in the presidential election. This philosophy comes from the fact that if everyone who voted for Nader in either New Hampshire or Florida voted for Gore instead, then Gore would have won the election. John Kerry and John Edwards are now in a cage match for the nomination, and I encourage everyone to pay attention, instead of letting their eyes glaze over during the next few months now that Dean has bowed out.

As added entertainment bonuses, Kerry is married to Teresa Heinz, as in the ketchup, and John Edwards refuses to badmouth anyone by name. Nader, defying conventional reason, announced Sunday that he is back in the saddle again.

If you are not registered to vote, wipe the crumbs off your shirt and go do it. As Nader and the state of Florida both proved last time, one vote does count for something. If you are not as well versed in current events as other people, don’t be intimidated. With issues such as the war, the economy, gay marriage and public education, this election is heated, and there is something for everyone to care about. Give yourself a base knowledge by googling candidates to find their official sites, and visit the Special Reports section of CNN.com, which is good for overviews.

I started reading the news from scratch a couple of years ago, and I now have a sick, yet enjoyable addiction to it. Browse the headlines every day, and you may gain an appreciation for the absurdity and relevance of what other people do with their lives everyday. At the very least, you’ll start getting political cartoons and jokes on late-night talk shows.

Stephanie O’Shea is a Collegian columnist.