Attention guys: Did you know that March 8 is International Women’s Day? Many men I’ve talked to on campus had no idea. If you did know, have you thought about what you might do? The chance to celebrate women is not just for women, it’s for everyone. As men, women are our mothers, our sisters, our friends, our daughters, our partners, our lovers. They are extremely important to us. Because we care about them, we must support them. We have to be proactive in the struggles that women face. One important concern is women and violence.
The simple fact is, men engage in most of the violence in the world, and most of the violence women experience is at the hands of men. When violence happens, it’s inappropriate to blame the victim. Blaming the victim often happens in cases of date rape and sexual assault. Men, and sometimes women, place responsibility on victims with statements like, “She shouldn’t have been walking alone at that time of night,” or, “She shouldn’t have been drinking so much.” Of course, violence against women (and men) is a reality, so there are behaviors that can help protect us. However, women should be able to walk when and where they want, and should be able to drink however much they want without having to worry about being assaulted. It’s not the behaviors of victims that will ultimately stop violence from happening. When the perpetuators of violence stop creating it, then it will stop. In most cases, this means men.
This is not to say that every man is violent; many of us do not commit specific acts of violence. We do, however, live in a culture of violence. As men, we often learn to address our problems with violence, whether it be the classic schoolyard fight scene, relationship violence, or violence between groups of men concerning drugs or “ownership” of women. Our foreign policy is based around a doctrine of violence: “Do what we want or we’ll drop bombs on you.” Movies, video games, and advertising frequently present images of violence, including explicit violence against women. Poverty and hunger, often overlooked forms of violence, disproportionately affect women. We are all part of the economic and political systems that allow suffering to exist in a world that has enough resources to take care of everyone. Whatever our individual actions, we all are surrounded by acts of violence against women.
Men not only have the responsibility to stop violence, but they have more resources to do it. Men have the majority of power, whether you measure it by income, career status, government positions, or otherwise. One small example: War, an extremely violent activity, kills men, women, boys and girls. In the U.S. Federal budget request for 2004, $399.1 billion is requested for the military. The people who decide on this budget are mostly men. If every one of those men decided that we should spend several billion on programs to support victims of violence, promote awareness of violence, teach non-violence, and help people who are violent to change, instead of on weapons, that would be a good start. Men have the power to make that change.
As a man, I pay special attention to the issues the women in my life are dealing with. I also try to make change on a larger level. Last year, I became an advocate for victims of domestic violence. After a 40-hour training, I volunteered at an agency providing support to victims of domestic violence by answering hotline calls and helping at a shelter. My interest in issues particularly affecting women, like violence, have lead me recently to an internship at the Men’s Resource Center in Amherst. I am currently working on a campaign for men to show support for women on International Women’s Day, Monday, March 8.
I encourage all men to not only take a stand against violence against women, but to become actively involved in the issues facing women today. This includes women’s control of their bodies, economic equality, reproductive rights, access to women-friendly health care, accommodations for mothers, affordable child care, and much more. What better way to start than to show support on International Women’s Day?
Ian Trefethen is a UMass student.
