Music Television, please hand me a heaping plate of vanity. MTV has released a new show called “I Want a Famous Face.” The gist is that people who want to emulate their idols go as far as getting plastic surgery to actually personify these pop icons.

Now I’m usually an optimist. I feel that our generation will fix the problems set in motion by the past, such as boy bands or japanimation, for instance. But when people are getting breast implants to have the same bust line as Britney Spears, I get nauseous. Literally, they showed the surgery. I thought I was going to throw up. When MTV said she paid $10,000 for the surgery so she could be “famous” as a professional Britney Spears impersonator, I got angry.

People can have idols – people they wish and aspire to become. They may even take their idolatry far beyond plastering their walls with their hero’s pictures, to actually modeling their entire life around this one person. These are all fine and healthy ways to grow and mature into the real you. Taking medical measures to physically become your idol is not. It erases your identity and replaces it with a false, illogical, and completely delusional depiction and denies you a sense of reality.

They should have titled this show “Denial” because that’s exactly what these people are going through. Except it’s denial of a severe nature, causing these people to go under the knife. Don’t believe it? Let’s analyze.

The woman involved definitely resembled Britney Spears. However, so do countless other 20-year-old blondes and brunettes. But unlike the rest of these wannabes, she felt that her connection was special, seeing as her and Spears shared the same favorite color, blue, and that they both enjoyed going to Starbucks. Astounding!

What’s the next step to take? First you’ll need breast implants to fix those hideous things you call a chest and gain a bosom more becoming of a pop diva. Now $10,000 is a lot of money just for some phase you’re going through while trying to figure out your real identity. So what prompted our hero to lob off her dirty pillows? Well her agent told her it would help further her career as a professional celebrity impersonator.

That’s right, she hired an agent. Further more they booked her at a club where she and a Madonna impersonator would reenact their famous kiss scene at the MTV Video Music Awards. First of all, there is no such career as a professional celebrity impersonator, at least nothing that deserves this kind of airtime. Secondly, she got breast implants just so she could lip sync for five minutes and then make out with another woman much to the delight of a throng of young men who obviously didn’t care who she wanted to be.

This scene made me seriously doubt her aspirations of emulating Spears. Her agent was definitely not taking this young woman’s commitment seriously, and I suspect that the cameras they used were void of film. The agent even proposed the use of fake paparazzi outside to make people believe someone famous was performing at the club that night.

What caused my anger to spark was when she admitted that the larger and perkier breasts made her feel better and more confident that now she has truly risen to Britney Spearsdom. Also that this was the only way for her to truly succeed in life and would certainly boost her career. “People will now take me seriously as Britney Spears,” she said. Well get ready guys, because she works birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and bachelor parties.

This woman’s idea of a celebrity impersonator is very different from mine. To me, a woman who gets breast implants to dance on stage and kiss another girl in a smoky club in front of sweaty, T-shirt clad men is a different variety of fame. She’s a stripper.

At the end of the show, they showed her and the agent getting into a limo where she drove off to discover her newfound glory and fame in the land of silicon opportunity. Most likely to the agent’s porn studio where she will spend her days singing, “Hit me baby one more time.”

Ben Feder is a Collegian columnist.