Now that I’m a month away from finishing my junior year at UMass, I am forced to look back and reminisce about what happened throughout the three wonderful years I was here, and what is left to do in my last year.
So many memories, and so little time left. It seems like yesterday I moved into John Quincy Adams residence hall, got wasted, left my car parked outside the dorm because I was too drunk to drive at 4 p.m., got a $100 ticket for doing so, and walked back from Puffton with people I didn’t know.
So I have a lot left to do in my tenure here.
Since drinking beer is a crucial aspect of any college career, I am forced to think of what is left to do on the alcoholic front. And, since drinking beer weekly gets boring, you have to switch it up and have some fun with it.
I need to do a bar crawl, a keg race and “Edwards 40s-hands.” None, I have done but all will be done by June 2005 when I graduate.
Since I am not 21, I have not been able to enjoy a bar crawl across downtown Amherst. That’ll change early next year. I also want to do a keg race, where about 20 people on a team go head to head and try to see who finishes a keg first.
A bar crawl is when a group of people break up into teams and go from bar to bar. You set a “par” or amount of drinks that each team must consume at that bar, and every drink over puts you under par. Like golf, the lowest score wins.
Finally, “Edwards 40s-hands” is when you tape “40s” to each of your hands and you can’t take them off until you finish them.
Aren’t I smart? Well, not really, but these ideas are pretty creative. Well, not really since I didn’t think of them, but they should be fun.
Next, I see all these people having crazy types of parties that I have yet to experience. One party that I’m talking about is a “Pimps and Hoes” party. I’ve seen the pictures of other people’s “Pimps and Hoes” night, and it’s like Halloween on crack!
Girls dress up about 10 times crazier than they do on Oct. 31, and the guys just dress like pimps, so that’s self explanatory. I need to experience one of these, preferably hosting one, but regardless I need to attend one.
So my first day here I had to go to Morrill. I think it was Morrill 19 SE, but I’m not sure. To say the least, I got extremely lost, and I was with a junior girl who was lost with me. So, before I leave, I want to walk into Morrill and get lost as hell around the most confusing building on campus.
Trying to find your way out Morrill is like trying to find our way out of a fun house, blindfolded and handcuffed.
I also want to go into the School of Management building. I have yet to enter the building that the school has spent roughly $98 billion on. I have heard stories about how amazing the inside is, and I want to go in and enjoy it.
I also want to participate in another riot. Yes, I said it! I want to be in one more riot. I only got to attend the Diamondbacks/Yankees riot and the Patriots riot that year. I enjoyed it, and I don’t mind saying it. Because I was off campus this year, I wasn’t in Southwest to enjoy the 94 riots this past
Fall.
However, I would not mind going back to the pyramids one more time and watching idiots jump off the dining commons while burning stuff. Hopefully it’ll happen when the Red Sox win the World Series this year.
I have had a great time here in my three years, and I don’t see it ending next year.
Matt Elder is a Collegian columnist.
