I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Why the heck is there anyone writing in favor of carrying a gun on campus? More importantly, why is Devon Courtney writing it?”

These are both crucial concerns, and the first one needs to be addressed. First of all, we all know about school shootings. People who don’t know the definition of the word “newspaper” know all about Seung-hui Cho, and can recall all of the details of the Virginia Tech massacre.

Students all over this campus are eternally busy thinking of reasons why our campus isn’t “safe” enough, and the administrative powers that be are text messaging us willy-nilly during class. This is all part of an effort to safeguard our campus against other potential future rogue shooters.

Easy solution alert: let students legally carry firearms. This is the most logical choice for several “real” reasons. First of all, students have unanimously been the targets for those who perpetrate these horrible massacres.

The police (who also carry guns) can only respond so quickly, but the fact of the matter is that nobody (including the police) expects a school shooting to happen at any given time. Also, you will never hear about a shooter walking into a police station (where there are lots of guns) and beginning a rampage there. The police (who carry guns), who are best prepared to respond to a senseless school shooting, are almost always going to be a certain distance away from the shooting.

Another solid reason is that the law (which in Massachusetts is very strict) has never stopped a crazy person from acquiring a gun. The vast majority of gun sales are illegal, and USA Today made a striking claim about the ease of illegal gun trafficking. Last March, Mark Nelson, a former police officer, was arrested for perpetrating a scheme where he was able to acquire and resell over 500 firearms to any Tom, Dick or Harry who wanted one. Firearms from Nelson’s “business” were traced back from drug dealers, gang members and even convicted terrorists.

Getting a gun illegally is not that difficult. The danger is real. In order to counter this very real threat, a select group of students who legally follow the correct procedure and take part in the extensive training required in Massachusetts to own a firearm would be more than beneficial in case something like Virginia Tech, Columbine or Indiana State were to happen again.

A student who knows the laws, rules and safety responsibilities of a concealed weapon and who is in the right place at the right time can shepherd the safety of his or her fellow students. Instead of many students lying dead in the aftermath of a terrible tragedy, an educated student carrying a weapon responsibly can appropriately take charge of the situation.

There would no doubt be many concerns that a gun not only is the great equalizer, but would enter into an on-campus argument inappropriately. This is also a very grave concern, seeing as many other commonplace items (screwdrivers, lacrosse sticks, beer bottles, baseball bats, what have you) have been introduced into arguments and conflicts here at UMass with headline-generating results.

Clearly, these perpetrators are the crazies we don’t legally issue firearms to. If some misguided student is capable of violence, that student may sadly pick any means of carrying that violence out in our peaceful student community. Knives and other sharp objects are easily attainable, and at the other extreme, so are firearms. The solution is to have intelligent and legally recognized gun carriers on campus. It would most certainly keep your closest friends and other students from being victims, and make the legal carriers heroes and saviors.

Here at this funny University, it seems to be the fashion to take issue with the police following us around and peeking in our windows. We don’t want the police in our dorms watching whatever it is we’re doing, certainly not because we want to smoke marijuana in peace. If an awful and senseless school shooting were to happen in your on-campus residence, the utter untruth of “cops in dorms” won’t save you, and throwing your bong at him probably won’t either.

It’s easy to condemn gun violence, but nobody really has this issue in the correct perspective. I say this because nobody is being asked about this issue while they themselves are staring down the barrel of a loaded weapon pointed right at them. If someone is about to shoot you, you most certainly would want someone who is a legal carrier in the vicinity to come to your rescue. Having myself been robbed at gunpoint before, this issue makes sense to me, and I invite you to think about it from that perspective.

Guns. Give them a shot.

Devon Courtney is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected]