Meghan McCain the new GOP spokesperson

By Ben Moriarty

“Is there anyone in this room that actually thinks fear politics is good for America?” A question posed by Meghan McCain during her visit to the University of Massachusetts campus on Wednesday night.

I don’t know, no one responded. But I imagine some would.

Meghan (first name basis, in my dreams), started out the evening building a proper foundation for herself. She made it clear that, yes, like every normal person in college, she too was a liberal. She made it clear that, darnit Grand Ol’ Party, “evolve with the times!”

She explained how she went on the campaign trail with Papa McCain, which transformed her political views and made her more red. And then, after the campaign trail, she started writing online, where she espoused such great stances like being for gay rights.

Yipee! Progressive, honey.

Because she is – not only just the daughter of the original, but also because she is herself – a maverick, she claims she has been attacked for some of her positions which do not align exactly with the Republican’s normal stances.

These attacks have included, most famously, Laura Ingraham – who does not even try to hide her dislike for homosexuals – saying she has a fat ass and bleaches her hair too blonde.

“All of a sudden, I was too fat to be a Republican.”

What the hell? The highest rates of obesity lie in the Deep South. That ain’t blue country.

Even so, this whole ordeal is a farce. Meghan McCain is merely a representation of the up and coming generation, with slightly conservative stances in some areas. Like she says, “younger Republicans definitely think more open-mindedly.” This isn’t a matter of Meghan betraying old-school Republican ideas. It is a matter of a generation which is becoming more liberal, more socially conscious and more “open-minded,” with all its self-fellatio connotations, coming into the spotlight with the power to vote now.

So what is she? She is a spokesperson for it, whether we like it or not, and whether we are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. She represents the progressive trend towards a more liberal social stance, which engulfs both parties.

And why is she? Well, that really isn’t any mystery. She is the daughter of the famous presidential candidate. She’s young. And, to Laura Ingraham’s dismay, she is hot.

Meghan gets a lot of flack for apparently betraying her party by having other sides to issues, by trying to be too “hip” by insulting some Republicans, by being, well, a 24 year old.

In her question and answer section, it was clear she wasn’t a political virtuoso. She had some very generic and superficial answers, and, much to my roommate’s anger, didn’t even know what the Military Industrial Complex was, and at the very least, couldn’t answer a question about it.

Which, if you have two brothers in the military, your dad was a POW, and you are “super pro-military, super pro-supporting the troops in Iraq in any way possible,” it is kind of a staple.

But, to me, it really doesn’t matter. She isn’t a politician, she is a politician’s daughter. She isn’t, as far as I know, studying modern day politics, nor has any ambition to go into it. So yes, if she is going to write a political blog, then probably, but, her real purpose isn’t to inform the general public about politics.

She is, most prominently, or will be, one of the biggest icons for this generation in politics for the Republicans, fighting in duels against Bono and every other musician known to man.

She’s doing her thing. Just like we all are doing our thing. She just has a little bigger audience because of her name.

And, I, nor anyone, should have a problem with that. Because if there is going to be someone to represent where the Republican Party is or could go, I am very fine with it being someone who is rather attractive.

Because that is all that matters to me.

And let us, as a closing statement, thank God we had some moron ask the mandatory and quite revealing question about legalizing marijuana. Keep fighting for it man. One day, one day.

Ben Moriarty is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected]