Not a semester goes by without some new conflict emerging between the University of Massachusetts Amherst and the Town of Amherst, or an old one rising to the surface with new strength.

This semester alone we have seen: an ordinance introduced to ban smoking in public areas during licensed events – something widely believed to be an attempt at suppressing Extravaganja; an increased enforcement of an old bylaw prohibiting more than four unrelated people from living together – which is a measure specifically designed to punish students based on the stereotype that we all have parties that Rome would find shameful and live as though there was no such thing as personal hygiene or laundry; raising fines on violating alcohol related bylaws and bringing in more police to crack down on (our wallets) parties.

It is certainly within the rights of the Select Board to prescribe punishments for breaking the laws they made with the intention of providing safety and security to the general population and so on. But increasing fines on unheard of bylaws could easily be considered wanton penny pinching. I’ve lived here in the summer; the economy grinds to a virtual standstill without our spending.

Eventually this is going to reach harassment-like proportions which will start driving away prospective students. Then the town will be in the gutter: businesses will close, people will move away, the lack of competition in many areas will drive the cost of living up and pretty soon the farms will reclaim development and Amherst will be a ghost of its former self. It will be poorer, less educated as tax revenue dries up. . . more Republican.

But the students can fight back.

Once upon a time, there was only the Town of Hadley. Then the Town of Amherst split off. Even further back in the past, we had the Royal Colony of Massachusetts, but we split off from Great Britain. Maine was once part of Massachusetts, but became its own state as part of the Missouri Compromise. During the War of 1812, delegates from the five New England states met at Hartford and discussed leaving the United States and forming a New England Confederation.

Yes, as ironic as it sounds, we have a rich history of secession here in Massachusetts, and we should use it ensure that UMass students are treated fairly and justly.

That’s right: UMass should secede from Amherst.

Right now, UMass is legally a corporation of some kind. That is, the University is legally a “person” created by the legislature for a specific purpose. A town is another kind of corporation, but of a different sort and with certain powers the University doesn’t have, such as the right to make and enforce laws, eminent domain powers and taxation. A town, however, is theoretically responsible to its registered voters in the way the University or commercial corporation is not. A city has even more independence from the state government than a town.

Many problems would be solved if UMass leveled up to municipal corporation status; undergraduates would finally have a say in running the University. Assuming they register to vote, the University could solve its revenue problems by granting liquor licenses and renting out commercial space – or selling land to businesses and private citizens and assessing taxes on it. As a town we would have fewer responsibilities than regular towns – no public schools with the possibility of them becoming money pits, very few extra services. Hell, we could sell electricity to Hadley residents. 

I tried to reach Amherst town treasurer John Musante, but he didn’t get back to me. I wanted to ask him about the financial relationship between UMass and Amherst; some schools make lump sum donations to their host towns in lieu of paying taxes and I wanted to know if UMass does the same. I also wanted to know about what the town’s reaction might be if UMass were to secede.

It will be a long and treacherous road to secession and freedom from the townies, but with determination and patience, we can walk it. UMass students should hold a referendum or plebiscite on the issue, as soon as the fall semester if possible, and submit a proposal to the General Court.

I believe that it has become necessary for the students of this University to terminate our association with the Town of Amherst, which has demonstrated throughout the years by means of various ordinances and bylaws that it does not desire or appreciate our presence within its borders. Therefore we should grant their wish and separate ourselves from their municipality.

That sounds like a good beginning to a declaration of independence.

Free UMass.

Matthew M. Robare is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].