How to drive classmates crazy

By Danny Marchant

With a school this size, encountering someone doing something annoying happens quite frequently. Lecture halls, with their cramped seating arrangements, are the prime location for annoying habits to quickly take effect on others. These 10 annoying classroom behaviors are sure to get your blood boiling just reading about them.

Browsing websites

Sitting in Political Science 101 trying to take notes and focus seems impossible when you keep getting distracted by the guy with the laptop sitting in front of you. While the rest of the class is learning about democracy, this Broseph Lieberman is on Barstool Sports looking at pictures of girls standing next to boats. Remember, this young mind is the future of our country. If you’re going to bring your laptop to class, take notes like the rest of us.

Putting your feet up…on the back of another person’s chair

It’s amazing that someone can be so oblivious as to not notice the tip of their cargo boots pressed against another human being’s neck. What’s even more amazing is that no one’s ever had their cargo boots angrily ripped off their feet by another student in the middle of class. Have some respect and keep your feet on the ground please.

Refusing to stand up and let people into the row

It’s perfectly reasonable to sit on the edge of the row, providing yourself with a quick exit from class. What is not reasonable is to sit, legs outstretched, as six people trip over you to get to open seats in the middle of the row. Unless you want coffee spilled all over you and a classmate in your lap, help others sneak into the already cramped space between rows and stand up..

Eating a three-course meal during class

The “desks” in Bartlett 65 simply aren’t ideal for holding a sandwich, a salad, some chips, soda and cookies. They were designed in a time when people were hobbits and cannot accommodate a Thanksgiving dinner. It’s understandable that students are busy and sometimes need to take meals on the go. However, the crumbs from your lunch can easily end up on the person’s lap next to you, causing frustrated neighbors who will lie to you when you ask them if they have a pen you can borrow.

Never ending a conversation

Everyone occasionally chats with their friends during class. But whispering about the “crazy rippah” Dave had over the weekend for a solid 75 minutes is pushing it. Be respectful and stop talking because the rest of us can’t hear what the professor is saying.

Correcting the professor

Everybody has been in a class where a student has raised his or her hand to correct the professor. And nobody has ever been in a class where that student was actually right. This makes everyone in class feel awkward and embarrassed for you.

Telling the whole lecture what books you read

Similar to the above annoyance, who hasn’t rolled their eyes as a student asks a question solely to inform the rest of the class that they’ve read Karl Marx and are therefore smarter than everybody else? These are the same people who wear Che Guevara T-shirts without realizing how ironic it is to have a Marxist icon on a piece of clothing sold in capitalist malls everywhere.

Coming to class with a contagious disease

Showing up to a class is an important part of passing. But showing up to a class with Bubonic plague is unwise. Blue book exams are especially excruciating when the person beside you is suffering from the consumption.

Not bathing

Showering is an absolute necessity if you’re going to sit two inches apart from someone. And if it’s a choice between showering and being late, choose the former.

Wearing pajamas to class

We’ve all done it. But wearing pajamas, sweatpants or slippers to class is a sign to the world that you don’t care. You don’t have to wear a shirt and tie, but don’t wear sweatpants with food stains on them.

Remember, these behaviors are displayed by a small minority of obnoxious people. They are the 1 percent, loudly clicking their pens while the rest of us 99 percent quietly fantasize about throwing something at them.

Danny Marchant can be reached at [email protected]