It’s Valentine’s Day, did you hear? Sometimes it’s nice to take a back seat and observe the festivities from the morally superior position of “matchmaker.”

From this vantage point you can distract yourself with the conquest of others, sacrificing your day to instead relish the possible schadenfreude of the situation. Or to wait for the inevitable back-slaps and congratulations of “nice job!” from the best man at the wedding which may or may not follow.

So the Massachusetts Daily Collegian set up a blind date with Adriana Lasso-Harrier, a sociology and political science double major and Mike Cavaliere, a kinesiology major (after his hilariously persuasive personal statement appealed to our comic sensibilities).

Adriana writes for the Collegian, likes making jewelry, going on adventures in the woods and reading sad books while Mike likes to lie about his interests to score points with the ladies. See “lifting heavy and taking a multi,” “long walks on the beach” and “eating Ben & Jerry’s while watching ‘The Notebook’ in pajamas.”

Adriana’s ideal date is Joseph Gordon-Levitt (or a “younger, gorgeous version” of Jimmy Page) while Mike would hit it off really well with Amanda Bynes, “if she didn’t get angry at me for making her do the ‘Ask Ashley’ voice.”

So last Saturday, Feb. 11, the Collegian pushed Adriana and Mike in the direction of Moti in Amherst, for some Persian grub and waited with bated breath and a heavy optimism for the triumph of young love.

Adriana on Mike

First impressions of Mike?

I thought he looked like a nice guy, but he wasn’t really my type.

What did he order?

Fish filet. Kidding. He ordered a gyro and water, and we split a chocolate lava cake.

What did you talk about?

Our common interests, where we’ve traveled, how we both went on this blind date just for the sheer hilarity of it all and our common love of the MBTA.

Were there any turn-off moments?

No, because I sort of knew from the beginning he wasn’t my type.
Did Mike seem genuine?

Yes, definitely.

Did you share anything in common?

We both love riding trains, we have similar senses of humor, we both went on this date because it’d be a funny story.

What was the best thing about Mike?

He is so funny and easy to talk to. A very pleasant dinner companion.

Rate the overall date out of 10.

7.

Will there be a Date No. 2?

No, I really just thought he was very friendly but that’s it.

Mike on Adriana

First impressions of Adriana?

Her elbows are way too pointy, and her facial symmetry is off by 0.034mm. I’m just messing around.

I thought she was a cute girl and was very approachable. She was a little shy at first, but understandably. I was looking forward to see if she would be more receptive to my questions and witty sense of humor.

What did Adriana order?

The cinnamon lentil rice. I joked that it sounded gross when she read it off, which in turn made her tell me she was going to order it. Mike: 0 Adriana: 1.

What did you talk about?

A little bit of everything. It was a little difficult because she is a freshman and I am a senior, but I was able to keep the conversation going for the most part. We talked about what we wanted to do for a living, food, family and where we want to live.
Were there any turn-offs?

Normally, you meet someone, get to know them, and if you like them enough, ask them on a date. Because we didn’t have this luxury, we had to (figuratively) feel each other out and find each others limits while getting to know each other. There were definitely times we did not see eye to eye, but that’s expected. As for being rude or making witty quips about my mother, there were only like 4 or 5 instances.

Did you and Adriana share anything in common?

We both love the urban atmosphere, especially riding the train in Boston. We both like savory foods compared to sweet. My favorite commonality is that we both decided to do this blind date because we both thought it would be funny. Turns out it was pretty fun.
Did Adriana seem genuine?

After hearing she writes articles for the Daily Collegian my initial thought was, “IT’S A TRAP!” However, I could tell there was no trick to it. She’s a very sweet girl whose college experience is just starting out.

What was the best thing about Adriana?

I really liked that she was able to appreciate my sense of humor. It isn’t for everyone and at first she seemed a little off put by it. However, after getting to know each other a little better, she was able to joke around with me and even put me in my place sometimes. Nothing sexier than a girl who can take a joke.

Rate the overall date out of 10.

7. All in all, it was a very enjoyable time and great to see how two strangers act when they are thrown into an uncomfortable, forced, romantic atmosphere. Luckily for me, they picked a beautiful girl who wasn’t socially awkward, so that was also a success.

Will there be a Date No. 2?

Maybe. It’s difficult to gauge since we are both in different stages in our lives. I have witnessed all college has to offer and am moving on to my professional life while she is just started witnessing all UMass has to offer. Will we hang out again? I would hope so. As for romantically? I doubt it, mainly because I’m graduating in May.

Stevie Mackenzie-Smith can be reached at [email protected].