I somehow managed to get caught up in a very sticky love triangle. I am entirely responsible for this creation, but I do not regret its monstrous implication in the slightest. Unfortunately for them though, the two corners of the triangle happen to be childhood friends. Not just playground pals, they share a perpetually rooted brotherly love, which in fact might already be tainted by their uncontrollable temptation.
Our relationship was once completely harmless, yet it was inevitable that someone would get hurt, and I am still baffled at why it wasn’t me. Each one of the three points, I have found seem justified in their actions.
The first guy was my first choice. I have known him since primary school, and I had wished that one day he might look my way. We became acquaintances in high school, casual friends during college, and only realized recently that he lives with two of my closest friends. We spent a lot of time together, slowly building an unexplainable feeling of lustful tension. Our chemistry, our energies, collided irresistibly with intense passion. A feeling one may never experience often, but we fed our need and embodied this fortune.
Yet, I was still surprised when he called me the next day, and continued to do so for five months thereafter. We made an agreement, though, on that day. Our encounters were to remain strictly casual with no-strings-attached, and I could not have been happier, but is it really possible to maintain an ongoing casual affair without developing emotions? I have learned it is only possible if both of the participants are keeping their emotions occupied with other people, and no one has any expectations., but when the third party arrived, a surge of the emotional reality swept through all of us without warning.
The third piece to our puzzle, his eternal friend, swept me off my feet one evening, completely unaware of our situation. By the time his pursuit seemed serious, my casual relationship with the first guy just happened to slow down. Yet, I felt it was necessary to unravel the simple truth, and he was heartbroken.
However, after a few conversations and small arguments, the first guy let it happen, and I was heartbroken. Did he have no feelings for what we had whatsoever? And so I gave into the second guy. He was nicer, compassionate and actually cared for what we began to have. We also just happened to go to the same school, and it was perfectly comfortable, but soon after, it was too comfortable, too plain, too calm. I missed the excitement I once had with the first guy. He was passionate and kept the meaning of us as a simple unit.
When I realized that is all I really want at the moment, I untied the knot with his friend. Weeks later, my first choice called to tell me he was coming up to visit. Both of them invited me to see an exhibit together, and I was flattered. There were no hard feelings, no more hearts breaking, but hearts were still beating. As the evening began, and then the night settled in, we all settled in. Conversation was comfortable and the company was warm, but then I noticed they were unintentionally competing for my attention, fighting for my interest, and neither of them saw what the other was doing. How can two close friends be so disloyal to each other? But, then again, their dishonesty and unfaithfulness to one another began at the very beginning, and I’ve realized it is not my problem.
The first guy and I will always have a lasting bond of sexual chemistry, and the second will always be the ideal choice for a commitment, and in the end, the first corner of our dynamic finally chose to admit that he does feel, he does care, and he was upset he let me go, and he left this certainty at that. It was all I really needed to hear to put our past to rest, and I am now able to enjoy the memory and smile.
Eve is a dirty, dirty whore.
