Let’s take a slight recap on the first two episodes of the fourth season:

In episode one, we are brought not back to our favorite island, but to the city of love: Paris. Blair and Serena have spent the summer gallivanting across the Atlantic; Blair shopping, eating, and dreaming, Serena, having various suitors. Per usual, Serena’s various love affairs make Blair jealous and drive her into a crazy fit. But more about that later.

In Manhattan, Georgina is back! And Georgina has brought her crazy self and someone else, Baby Milo. The child, who is allegedly Dan’s son, and the two proud parents have been held up in The Loft taking care of the newborn. All would be fine and good in the world of Gossip Girl but two key characters, Lily and Rufus, have not been notified of the precious little guy existence. Because Dan refuses to tell his father about the baby or sign the birth certificate, Georgina is getting antsy and therefore planning to scheme.

On the other side of the Brooklyn bridge, Lily and Rufus are hosting some gala or function when our favorite new mommy shows up to break the news. She spills the beans moments before Dan figures out that she is there and can even try to stop her. She introduces the baby to his grandparents and then leaves Dan to try and clean up the mess.

And where is our favorite Archibald? He’s been held up in the Empire with Chuck’s little black book and everyone in it. On one particular date, the girl is such a ditz that she leaves Nate hanging, only for him to find another girl?

What about Chuck Bass? The last we saw he was clinging on to a certain ring for a certain brunette. He hasn’t left a trace about where he is or who he’s with. Doesn’t anyone worry about him? Luckily in the second episode, we find out that he has been nursed back to health after getting shot in the season three finale b a beautiful French blonde. C’est très interessante, Monsier Bass!

Also in the second episode, after confiding his feelings for Serena in the girl from the restaurant, Juliette Sharp, they plot to make sure Serena falls back for Nate. Obviously there are a few faults with this plan. First of all, we keep cutting to images of this new girl in her home, with millions of picture of our A-listers taped up everywhere. My first thought: Is she Gossip Girl?! Now I just think she’s a stalker. Also, as we saw at the end of season three, Serena and Dan obviously still had feelings for each other, but Vanessa still had feelings for Dan. So naturally, Nate must tell Vanessa that Dan still wants her, despite the turmoil that Baby Milo has caused. And V, the most down-to-earth, rational one in the bunch, falls for it. Cut to steamy sex between V and D, in the living room of the Loft. Typical.

Of course this plan backfires. But not to badly, as the end of episode, the two are holding hands.

Also, G managed to make Dan sign the birth certificate and proceeded to run back to wherever she disappeared to in the first place.

As for our favorite best friends, they’re still frolicking around France. Blair gets a date with a prince, and it obviously goes horribly but somehow Queen B emerges with grace, and with the promise that she will get over Chuck.

The highlight of episode two was easily the awkward Chuck and Blair moment when they first see each other. After wind that a body identified as Chuck’s had washed up in Paris, everyone was certain that he was a goner, C was the last person expected or wanted to see in Paris. This opened up old wounds for B.

Chuck’s ring was also identified and Blair sees it in the jewelry store, falling in love with it before being informed that it had been for her, that with that piece of jewelry maybe Blair would become a Bass.

The end of episode two leaves us with some burning questions:

Will B give C another shot?

When S returns will she capture the hearts of both D and N?

Where is Little J?

Will G finally be out of our lives, even though her spawn won’t be?

Who is the new J? Where did she come from?

Until next week.

XOXO.

Ashley Berger can be reached at [email protected].