Glee blames it on the alcohol

By Alissa Mesibov

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SPOILER Alert! Consider yourself warned.

Hey Gleeks,

In case it is not obvious from the paper’s title, it is a college paper and I am a college student who was overloaded with tests, papers and all that fun stuff. That is why I ask that you forgive me for not posting these past few weeks. Now, on to the episode!

tik tok playbill

Courtesy of Playbill

After finishing this week’s episode, I was left thinking, “What did I just witness!?” There are some things that just don’t match up, and a drunk Rachel Berry is one of them. It all started with a suggestion from Puck to throw a party at Rachel’s house while her dads were on vacation. It starts off (I don’t want to promote underage drinking by saying this, but…) pathetic, with Rachel giving out two wine coolers per person. The party quickly goes from dead to insane, with every character becoming all different kinds of drunk. A highlight of the episode was Finn’s analysis of this. Of course, it isn’t an episode of “Glee” without some good shockers. The thoroughly drunk Rachel grabs and kisses Blaine (yes, Kurt’s Blaine) and they go on to sing karaoke better than 99 percent of this world can sober. Luckily, when she kisses him sober, he becomes reassured of his sexuality. No, in case you were wondering, I have still not let go of the idea of Kurt and Blaine.

The next morning, everyone experiences the joy of going to class with a hangover. Artie saves the day with Bloody Marys, because being just hungover in a high school class wasn’t a bad enough idea. That night, it is Mr. Schuster’s turn to lose his mind to alcohol…with Coach Bieste…at a honky-tonk bar. Remember what I said about things not matching up? It applies here too. Once he gets home, he picks up his cell phone for some good, old fashion drunk dialing. He intends to call Emma, but ends up calling Sue Sylvester. He is too drunk to know this and leaves a message that would be mortifying for Emma to hear, let alone Sue.

Because of escalating cases of students being drunk in school, New Directions is asked to perform a song about the dangers of drinking. They come up with an amazing rendition of “Blame it on the Alcohol,” but it is shot down for promoting drinking, rather than warning of it. It is replaced with Ke$ha’s (and I agree with Principal Higgins- for once- that the dollar sign is moronic) “Tik Tok,” which is thoroughly mutilated by the cement-colored puke that spews from the club’s mouths, as a result of Rachel’s terrifying cocktail that she gave to them before performing. Higgins thinks it was a special effect and congratulates the club on successfully scaring the school out of underage drinking.

Though the club is saved, Mr. Schuster is not so lucky. The episode closes on Sue publicly humiliating him by broadcasting his drunk dial message over the school PA system.

On the bright side, when “Glee” returns in two weeks, Gwyneth Paltrow will return as Miss Holiday- this time subbing for the sex ed teacher. Yeah, things are going to get interesting.

Gleeks, I am pleased to announce the greatest gossip to hit the “Glee” rumor mill. Anne Hathaway, who has extensive musical theater experience, may be appearing on the show as Kurt’s lesbian aunt. Words cannot express how epic this will be, should it come to pass.

Here’s the episode itself, courtesy of hulu.com!

Ok, on to the “Of the Weeks”

Best Song

It is undoubtably “Blame it on the Alcohol.” This brought great vocals together with excellent choreography and conviction. It is classic show choir and, I, for one, loved it!

Sue Sylvester Quote of the Week

“I suggest you preemptively check into rehab, as you are a future alcoholic.”

Moment of the Week

I’m going for a comedic moment here. Finn’s introduction to different kinds of drunks brought me back to the hilarity of the clique introductions in “Mean Girls” and “10 Things I Hate About You.” Stereotypes can be funny at times (I’m talking about behavioral/personality stuff here, not anything that ends in “ism” or “phobic”). Stereotypes that are true are even funnier.

That’s all for this week. We have got a lot to look forward to in the upcoming episodes, Gleeks!

Alissa can be reached for comment at [email protected]