Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Eight shots to avoid ordering at the bar

By Griffin Lyons

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scion_cho/ Flickr

scion_cho/ Flickr

Determining what type of shot to make or order at the bar is an inexact science, and as some college students will typically attest on Sunday mornings, some combinations are better than others.

But rather than compile a list of the best shots to order at the bar, here’s a list of shots to avoid at all cost. And remember, you’ll be doing both yourself and your bartender a favor.

  1. Any cheap vodka

With its trademark medicinal smell and aftertaste, and the necessity of chasing it almost immediately to cope with your disgust, cheap vodka begins our list. It’s standard fare as far as bad ideas go, but as you will soon find out, there are worse options.

  1. The Snake Bite

Don’t confuse this shot with the beer cocktail of a similar name that uses cider and lager: this one is much less palatable. Made of lime juice and Yukon Jack , a honey-infused Canadian whisky liqueur, this one is just gross. Citrus juice, lime in particular, can balance out many flavors, and compensate for others, but even citrus cannot help counteract the cloying, almost nauseatingly sweet quality that plagues most honey whiskeys . Ordering any shot with honey whiskey is typically an indicator your night will start to go downhill.

  1. The Alien Brain Hemorrhage

This shot might both sound and look appealing, but beware of risking your relationship with your bartender. This shot requires carefully layering half a shot of peach schnapps under Bailey’s Irish Cream or another cream liqueur, and then blue Curacao, and then grenadine. It’s a lot of effort just for the taste and the image of an “exploding brain,” as the Bailey’s curdles in the other, high-acid liqueurs.

Be kind, and figure out if it’s monetarily worth your bartender’s time, when compared to other drinks on the menu.

  1. The Prairie Fire

The Prairie Fire is all the rage at Midwestern and Southern College. Why, though?

The name sounds like a shot born out of a desperate lack of mixers and idiot macho showboating. But it gets worse, as there are two variations of this shot. The first, the Prairie Fire with vodka, is simply a shot consisting of Tabasco sauce and vodka. That’s it: hot sauce and vodka.

There’s also a version of the shot with tequila, which may be even more disgusting. Tequila, on its own or in a cocktail, can be delicious. The Prairie Fire is not. Someone who makes or orders this is probably not drinking one made with good tequila.

The stronger flavor and taste profile of tequila, particularly cheap tequila, together with hot sauce is utterly disgusting, and turns this shot from a dumb gimmick to newfound levels of gross.

See why cheap vodka only made it to number ten on this list?

  1. The Cement Mixer

This one makes the list for its nauseating nature. This shot can either be made layered, with the lime juice on top and the cream liqueur on the bottom, or mixed in the mouth, lime juice served first. But you’ll regret mixing line juice and a cream liqueur almost immediately. Keep your dinner in your stomach, and do not order a Cement Mixer.

  1. Double anything.

A double shot is a bad idea, and probably the kind that you have when you’re already intoxicated and convinced that even more alcohol at the same pace of consumption will feel awesome.

It won’t.

It will probably make you sick. But even more importantly, it’s dangerous. Your liver processes drinks like a queue of agitated petition-filers at a bureaucracy – it’s capable of processing alcohol as it comes, but is also vulnerable to being overwhelmed too quickly. Furthermore, in the event that you need to drive, double shots put you at risk of going over the legal limit, committing a crime and endangering the lives of others.

Always use a designated driver, and stay away from the dreaded double shot.

  1. 151

This booze, so named for being 151-proof, therefore 75.5 percent alcohol (your standard 80-proof drink is 40 percent alcohol by volume) , is a catastrophic choice of shot. First of all, it really isn’t funny that you ordered the equivalent of nearly two shots in a single glass. It’ll set off a huge warning sign to your bartender, and put the longevity of your night out in question.

Second of all, it’s gross. Put it in a tiki cocktail, where 151 currently works best, balancing out a variety of flavors that we interpret as tropical. Do not do a shot of 151, and no matter what you do otherwise, please be kind and respectful to the employees who prepare or present you your drink.

  1. Everclear. Just a shot of Everclear.

A shot of Everclear, 95 percent alcohol by volume, is awful, and strong proof that either you’re at a party hosted by masochists, or an idiot. It doesn’t matter, either, if you’re asked to do it as some part of a ritual. That is hazing, and therefore abuse.

Do not do a shot of Everclear. Not even the reduced-proof version. That is disgusting and rude, and will probably sicken you. And we will all have to put up with you during your binge of whimsical, obnoxious, drunken behavior.

Griffin Lyons can be reached at [email protected]

 

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