Fran Lebowitz has a lot on her mind, and she isn’t afraid to tell you about it. On Thursday, Oct. 10, the author, orator and humorist took to the Tillis Hall stage for a “State of the Union” conversation hosted by the University of Massachusetts Amherst’s Fine Arts Center. During the discussion, the 73-year-old gave her famously unfiltered thoughts on a wide range of topics, from the 2024 presidential election to her love of grammar and punctuation.

The night began with a land acknowledgment read by the FAC’s director, Jamilla Deria, who then welcomed the moderator, Michael Blake, to the stage. Blake, who boasts an impressive political career, as the White House associate director of public engagement under Barack Obama. He also the vice chair at large for the Democratic National Committee and a New York State Assembly member. In addition, he is the president of Next Level Sports and Entertainment, the only Black-owned national TV sports network.

Following Blake’s introduction, Lebowitz took to the stage, clad in a navy blue suit, cuffed blue jeans and her signature black glasses. From the get-go, she had the audience laughing, joking about a hypothetical bid for the presidency. “I could run for president, but I wouldn’t win,” Lebowitz said. “I couldn’t even win this room and they all paid to see me.”

While Lebowitz might not be running for president, she certainly has a lot to say when it comes to this year’s presidential candidates. Lebowitz, with her infamous deadpan sense of humor, joked that she believes former President Donald Trump is illiterate. “When he was asked about Project 2025, Donald Trump said he hasn’t read it,” Lebowitz said. “Of course he hasn’t, he can’t read.”

Although a self-described “angry” and “bitter” person, she is not entirely pessimistic about this upcoming election. “I think Kamala Harris has a good chance of winning, so I feel some hope,” she said.

This Election Day, Lebowitz will be in London speaking at an event, but will cast her vote for Harris early. She was also in London on the day Roe v. Wade was overturned in 2022, so she joked that her visits to England are bad omens for the country.

“You know, if things go back [to a Trump presidency], you won’t have to come back,” Blake quipped.

Trump isn’t the only Republican politician that Lebowitz has a bone to pick with. Less than 24 hours prior to the conversation, Hurricane Milton made landfall in Siesta Key, Florida, just two weeks after the state was ravaged by Hurricane Helene. As such, Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis, has been frequently featured on national television news programs as the state recovers. Always the iconoclast, these appearances have not been beneficial for DeSantis, according to Lebowitz.

“[DeSantis] has no idea what a government is even though he’s a governor,” said Lebowitz. “He says Florida is where ‘woke’ goes to die. Yeah, Florida is where everyone goes to die.”

Blake then moved the conversation away from politics, bringing up Lebowitz’s close friendship with late American novelist Toni Morrison. The two met in 1978 at an event held by the Academy of American Poets. According to Lebowitz, their friendship was instantaneous. “I’ve known a lot of smart people in my life,” Lebowitz said. “But wise? There’s only been one wise person, and it’s [Morrison].”

At the night’s halfway point, Blake wished the audience goodnight as Lebowitz took to the podium herself and opened the room for questions. She calls this portion of her events the “Fran Talk.”

The audience’s questions ranged greatly in topic, from her strong dislike of travel to her thoughts on Boston being called “The City” (For the record, New York will always be “The City” in Lebowitz’s eyes. Boston is just “a city.”).

There was one question from the audience that Lebowitz would not answer: “How do you feel about the U.S. government’s handling of the situation in Gaza?” Lebowitz immediately dismissed the question, saying that conflict in the Middle East “didn’t start yesterday.”

The night’s final question involved the U.S. Supreme Court; specifically, the court’s recent ruling that the President has absolute immunity. “I don’t know Joe Biden,” said Lebowitz. “But if I did, I’d tell him, ‘[Biden], you’re the President, but you’re now the King. Dissolve the Supreme Court.”

After leaving the stage, Lebowitz held a free book signing in the front lobby. There, hundreds of attendees lined up for Lebowitz’s autograph and a chance to ask questions of their own.

Nathan Legare can be reached at [email protected] and followed on X @Legare_Nathan.