Massachusetts Daily Collegian

The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

By Dan Riley

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Katherine Mayo/Collegian

Let me paint you a word picture:

You are sitting on the run-down futon that your older brother handed down to you after he went to college, sitting as still as possible because it makes creaking noises every time you shift your weight and if you move around too much it might just break underneath you. The smell of the wings order that took two hours to get delivered is filling the air. There are empty cans everywhere because walking the four feet to the trash bin is a non-starter. But none of that matters because James White is three yards, two yards, one yard away from the end zone. The ball crosses the plain, the Patriots win the Super Bowl yet again and Tom Brady gets that fifth ring. Chills run down your spine and you’re screaming with a reckless disregard for quiet hours. You turn to your friends in a blitz of fanatic euphoria, looking to jump all over each other and just go nuts. But they aren’t there. They’re in Southwest Residential Area and you live in Central.

So what do you do? The Super Bowl guest policy prevented you from watching the game with your friends. Now the game is over and you need to celebrate but they aren’t around. So do you throw on pajamas and go to bed?

Yeah right. You and everyone under the moon are heading to Southwest to practice our right “to peaceably assemble on public property.” Looks like the revised guest policy didn’t prevent a thing except to stop you from getting to watch the game with your friends.

I understand why the rules exist. In 2015 when the Pats beat the Seattle Seahawks, the gathering at the University of Massachusetts made headlines. When excited people do stupid things in large groups while wearing UMass maroon, all of our degrees become worth a little less. I agree with the first half of the rules: “No non-UMass students will be permitted to visit the residence halls.” I totally get that; I don’t want non-UMass students coming here with impure intentions. But the second half of the rules, only getting to sign in guests from your residential area, was a bizarre and ineffectual response to Super Bowl XLIX. Having seen the constitutionally mandated peaceful assembly of celebrating students in action, I can imagine the opposing word picture that may have inspired the guest policy, the one that partly came true:

You are in Southwest after the Pats fought for the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. You peaked in high school, probably. I know I did. Above you, there is a shining beacon. It’s a lamp post, but you don’t see a lamp post. You see glory, immortality. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in physical form. In an alcohol-induced moment of clarity, you see that you don’t just want to climb it, you need to climb it. Thus, you become a hero of the mob and a target for beer cans, avocados and whatever other projectiles this University’s resourceful students can get their hands on. Naturally, ladies and gentlemen with shields on their faces and badges pinned to their chests arrive on horses to get you down, but the officers cannot stop you from taking a football to the face, falling several yards, landing on someone and breaking their ankle. You make the headlines, UMass makes the headlines, and in a week, after the high of winning the Super Bowl wears off, it stops being funny.

The thing is, none of the tomfoolery and shenanigans that were had on this beautiful Sunday evening were prevented by not being able to go to other residential areas to watch the game. Peaceful assembling, or gatherings, happened anyway. There must be a better way to keep our students and our campus safe. My roommates and I didn’t get to watch the Super Bowl with some of our friends and that’s just a big, needless bummer. When the Pats arrive at the Super Bowl next February, I hope that this won’t be the case.

Dan Riley is a Collegian columnist and can be reached at [email protected]

3 Comments

3 Responses to “The Super Bowl guest policy was silly”

  1. Stefan Herlitz on February 13th, 2017 11:05 am

    The administration knows it won’t stop students from gathering in Southwest with the guest policy, and that’s not what it’s designed to prevent. Rather, the guest policy is about making it harder for off-campus and non-UMass students to get to these kinds of gatherings. Look to the mass arrests during the particularly bad Blarney years, such as 2014: a disproportionate number of the extremely unruly participants who were arrested weren’t UMass students, but had come to visit and party with friends for the event. It’s not about stopping gatherings, but cutting down on the most unruly demographic in those gatherings.

    I’m not arguing the guest policy is a good thing, but it’s important to acknowledge what it’s actually designed to do.

  2. ZigZag on February 13th, 2017 4:38 pm

    @ Stefan Herlitz

    “Unruly demographic” sounds disturbingly racist and elitist. Do you refer to the redneck locals that you look down upon? The Irish-Catholic rowdies from the suburbs? The blacks?

  3. Stefan Herlitz on February 20th, 2017 11:57 am

    @ ZigZag

    What? I was referring to the college students from other schools who came to UMass to attend these events and became unruly at a greater frequency than UMass students did, with no references to locals, ethnicity, or race at all. I’m fairly certain the unruly non-UMass students who visited had about the same socioeconomic, ethnic, and racial mix as UMass students themselves. The distinction between the UMass and non-UMass students was probably that people are less likely to be unruly where they live.

    You really, really overshot there.

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    UMass ranked 26th best public university in the U.S.

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    UMass hosts ‘Civic Engagement in Diverse Latinx Communities’ panels

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    Human-sized squirrel is UMass social media hit

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    UMass field hockey splits Philly trip

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    UMass women’s soccer wins sixth straight game

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    A guide to distracting freshmen from being terrified in class

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    As UMass costs rise, students suffer

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    How to take control of your sexual health

  • The Super Bowl guest policy was silly

    Archives

    Review: Pho is the star of the show at Miss Saigon

  • Archives

    Why ‘Funny Girl’ still resonates with audiences 50 years later