Morning Wood: 2022
Kicking off April in satirical style
April 1, 2022
Morning Wood is the April fools’ day special edition of the Daily Collegian. All articles are satirical.
UMass to implement 30-factor authentication
Students complain that men are ‘ruining’ gender neutral bathrooms, stench is primary concern
UMass should give out its degrees in the form of NFTs
Allow me to introduce the future of UMass hoops
SGA votes to create a new Secretary of Bureaucracy position
The UMass community grapples with Sam the Minuteman’s raw sex appeal
UMass to begin construction on “Sam the Minuteman” training facility
UMass to build swimming pool in Isenburger basement
Entire spoon, handle and all, falls into hummus at Harvest Market
UMass announces competitive sleeping as newest addition to athletic department
Wind tunnel around library hate crimes student
Dining commons breakfast is ‘mid’
UMass housing crisis leaves 427.3 sophomores displaced
UMass makes changes to undergraduate courses, removing STEM