In honor of 2022 coming to a close, I thought it would be fitting to compile a list of some of the worst movies I watched this year. I know, commemorative year-end lists are typically a collection of the year’s best moments. However, in good conscience, I can’t bring myself to write such a list when most of the films I watched this year were downright horrendous. Therefore, in order to protect moviegoers everywhere, I’ve decided to curate a list of five films that one should avoid at all costs, in no specific order.
1. “Jurassic World Dominion”
Director: Colin Trevorrow
The sixth movie of the Jurassic Park franchise, and the third of the reboot trilogy, “Jurassic World Dominion” is one of the most boring films I’ve ever watched. The entire film feels like a cash grab, and this is evident in its story as well as its cast. For a film that is meant to be centered around dinosaurs, most of the story revolves around a bug epidemic. Yes — bugs, more specifically, locusts. Furthermore, the film attempted to evoke a sense of nostalgia by bringing back beloved cast members such as Jeff Goldblum, Laura Dern and Sam Neill, yet this concept falls short as soon as Neill enters the frame. He is no longer the actor he once was, and the delivery of his lines feels extremely forced and rigid. There are many things to nitpick about this film, and going into exact detail would take far too long. In short, it’s safe to say that the combination of the script, acting and story culminate into one horrible snoozefest.
2. “Blonde”
Director: Andrew Dominik
Biopics are difficult to execute, especially when the film is focused on someone who has passed away. It makes things much harder for directors, who have to find a way to honor their legacy whilst telling the truth, which can be ugly. In “Blonde,” director Andrew Dominik achieves neither of these aims, as his film centered around the late Marilyn Monroe is a nothing more than a disrespectful account of her life. At her prime, Monroe was highly sexualized and mistreated by many people in her industry, amongst other high-profile individuals. She led a difficult life, and Dominik’s film not only disrespects her once again after her death, but it also romanticizes her hardships in a disgusting manner. From unnecessary scenes of sexual assault to a straight-up exploitative look at her life, “Blonde” is a terrible film that should never have been released
3. “Goodnight Mommy”
Director: Matt Sobel
I hate American remakes of foreign films with a passion. I don’t understand the incessant need to recreate something that is already well-executed, just for it to be more understandable and easier to digest. Subtitles exist for a reason and “Goodnight Mommy” proves this point to a tee. It’s a carbon copy of Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala’s Austrian film of the same name released in 2014, with the addition of one more plotline that seems to go nowhere. The script is horrible, and the film is simply redundant. It wasn’t executed well at all and feels disrespectful to the original directors. Furthermore, one of the children is given a strange scar in order for viewers to be able to differentiate between them, a plot device that simply wasn’t needed. The plot twist that was so beautifully executed in the original film is seen from a mile away in this remake, making the film feel like a slog to get through, as the ending is far too obvious. I really hated this viewing experience and I don’t think I’ll be revisiting this remake at all in the future.
4. “Halloween Ends”
Director: David Gordon Green
I think I’ve seen Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) hunted by Michael Myers far too many times for my liking, and it’s definitely time for the “Halloween” franchise to come to an end. Strode’s “final girl” character arc has been brutally torn to shreds since the original film, and despite this film attempting to portray her “return” and Michael Myers’ long-awaited demise, its execution was lackluster. The worst thing about this film is how unnecessary it was. There was absolutely no reason the story had to go further, as the last film left viewers believing that Myers was dead. It was a terrible experience and its oversaturation in recent years has ruined the franchise to a point where it can no longer be saved.
5. “Morbius”
Director: Daniel Espinosa
The last film on this list, but definitely the most memorable, “Morbius” is a great example of a horrible film. Purely from a filmmaking perspective, this film is terrible. Its plot isn’t creative in any way and the direction was poor. It’s clear that Sony Pictures is attempting to create a large Marvel universe in which the Sinister Six come into play, yet protagonist Michael Morbius’ (Jared Leto) goals simply do not align with the other villains from the Spider-Man comic series. It makes absolutely no sense for him to collaborate with these other evil characters, as they are villains while he is an anti-hero. The one redeeming factor of this film is actor Matt Smith (who plays Milo), as he does most of the heavy lifting. Even though this film garnered much attention, it was very quickly turned into a joke solely due to how bad it was. It’s never fun to watch a film fail at the box office, but when it’s this bad and does just as poorly the second time it’s released, it’s hard to not let out a slight giggle.
Ashviny Kaur can be reached at [email protected]
