Celebrity Gossip: Shaken, Not Stirred

By Maddie Drake

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I spent this past weekend in Boston, and what is it about being in a city that makes everyone (including myself) act like a celebrity? I donned huge black sunglasses and talked way louder on the T than I would on a PVTA bus. I felt like everyone was watching me, and I hate to admit it, but I sort of enjoyed the imaginary attention. Of course, the second I got home this effect completely diminished, and I went back to my old snide celebrity-mocking self. I had no choice- this week was filled with their crazy antics.

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For example, rumors are flying about whether or not Amber Heard, of ‘The Rum Diary’ and other movies you probably didn’t see, stole Johnny Depp away from his ex-girlfriend of fourteen years, Vanessa Paradis. I really enjoy that tabloids are freaking out over whether or not Johnny bought Amber a horse as a gift, as if this is some sort of scandalous telling sign that infidelity took place.

Lady Gaga officially opened her ‘Little Monsters’ site last week, and since then it’s been referred to as the ‘Facebook for Lady Gaga fans’. Good lord. Trying to picture that in my head is as painful as picturing a violent shark attack, except of course the shark and its victim are wearing robot-inspired couture.

J.Lo and Steven Tyler are confirmed to be leaving American Idol next season, which would be a bummer if I watched the show. I honestly did enjoy its earlier years, but I think we can all agree that American Idol is now just a weird recycle bin for celebrity judges, Top 20 covers, and erratic set design. Plus, I think that seeing Ryan Seacrest in the beginning of each episode just starts everything off on a bad note.

Finally, in horrible, awful, this-better-not-be-true news, David Letterman may have ruined the ending to ‘Dark Knight Rises’ when he interviewed Anne Hathaway last Thursday night. Like an idiot, I read this news all the way through and basically spoiled it for myself, so save yourself the trouble and do not read any articles about Dave’s supposed blunder! No one is saying whether or not he was right obviously, but Anne has responded by reproaching Dave and apologizing to ‘Dark Knight’ director Christopher Nolan. If this happens to be true, I am going to have to go stitch up my own Batman costume, and go exact revenge on Letterman. Seriously, does he have any social intelligence whatsoever? Who does this? Even if he slipped up and thought for a second that he was in a more colloquial setting…….who does this!??!!

Anyway, ‘Dark Knight Rises’ comes to theaters this weekend, and if I were going to do a promotional plug, now would be the time because everyone should see this movie. Of course, if everyone did what I wanted them to, I’d be living in the Kardashians’ house being waited on hand and foot, so I think it’s safe to say that my demands are not entirely realistic. See you next week!

Maddie Drake can be reached at [email protected]